Real Life Jack
by Ketsi-aiita-n
Summary: Really, don't ask what's going on here. There's a posh British Girl, she makes Jack into a real life person...its all quite odd.


This fic is dedicated to ENGLAND!!! MY COUNTRY!!!!!

Everyone who is not from Xiaolin showdown talks in that infuriating British accent that all Americans use when pretending to be British.

It's not Mary Sue in any way, shape or form. Ok, maybe slightly.

It takes part both in the real world, and the Xiaolin Showdown world.

The Real World

The girl standing in the doorway had long, tumbling red hair, a white face, black clothes and red lips, and looked nothing like the author. She walked up to her parents, who were sitting, drinking tea next to the fireplace, and looking like they were - extremely wealthy British civilians who lived in a mansion built randomly in the Scottish moors, which is also nothing like the author. (A/N: Dammit!)

"Mummy? Daddy?"

The girls parents turned and looked at their daughter. They sighed. For months now they had told her to stop buying those clothes, and that makeup.

She hadn't listened.

"Yes darling," her mother said.

"We have an awful lot of money, don't we?"

"We do," her father said.

"Well, I'd like an advance on my pocket money. I want to build something."

"Of course dear. How much?"

"Seventeen million pounds should do it," the girl replied casually.

"Of course! Use the money from this account." Her mother handed her a credit card.

"Thank you ever so much!" the girl smiled and hugged her parents. She left the room.

Her parents returned to drinking their tea. "What a lovely daughter Kira has turned out to be."

The Xiaolin World

Everyone was pretty much like they usually were. Omi was walking on two fingers, Kimiko was playing Goo-Zombies 2, Clay was perfecting his lasso technique so much it was getting bad again. Raimundo was watching everyone from the top of a rock he was perched on.

In Jack's lair it was pretty much as normal too. Jack was working on another robot, Wuya was talking to Katnappe. Katnappe was mostly ignoring her and looking at the Shen-Gong-Wu.

And so, when both Dojo and Wuya sensed the next Shen-Gong-Wu, as normal, everyone rushed off to fight in a Xiaolin Showdown.

Inevitable.

The Real World

Kira had begun work immediately. Onto her laptop, she pulled up the plans for a machine, and began to order parts from Ebay. Anything she couldn't get off Ebay, she got from a disreputable website owned by a man she knew.

Once she had ordered everything she needed, she picked up a screwdriver and walked over to a table in the corner. She wanted this to be ready, just in case he arrived without his. An hour later, she tested the small machine. It worked perfectly.

She turned off the basement lights and went up to her room.

The next day, she went straight to the basement, only taking a short detour to get some pop tarts. Once in the basement, she saw that all the parts had arrived. Within four or five hours, she had built a machine. It stood against the wall, glittering in silver with accents of black. She pressed a few buttons and a circular door slid open. A tube fell down and covered the hole. The tube connected to the top of the machine, and at the side there was a glass container large enough for three people to stand inside and have room to stretch.

A few dead chickens, one half sheep-half cow and finally a living goat later, Kira was ready to go.

The Xiaolin World

Raimundo stood next to Jack, ready to begin their Xiaolin Showdown. Jack had, as usual, challenged him to his most predictable game. A race to the Shen-Gong-Wu. Raimundo had the Eye of Dashi, Jack had the Jet Bootsu. They were racing for the Pendant Of Elements - it could let you survive under water, or in the desert, without food or water.

Jack was leading in the race. Raimundo sped up. "Prepare to meet your maker, Jack Spicer!" he yelled.

The Real World

Kira pressed the button.

The Xiaolin World

The lightning shot out of the Eye of Dashi and struck…rock. Jack had disappeared. "What just happened?" Raimundo yelled. "You blink and he's gone!"

The Real World

Kira smiled as the glass container opened. Out of it stepped…perfection. Well her idea of perfection. His pale skin…his red eyes. She nearly exploded with excitement. He seemed a little disorientated. She walked up to him and circled him like a hungry animal.

Jack wasn't too sure about whether he liked where he was or not. It was too detailed for his liking, but it looked like home. In fact, it looked exactly like his lair. The girl circling him paused to touch his face. "You're lovely," she whispered. She touched his helipack. "Oh, you have it. I made a spare one just in case." He watched in amazement as she pulled an identical helipack out of a drawer.

"Where am I?" Jack asked.

"My home. Welcome, Jack." She smiled beatifically at him.

"Why am I here?" Suddenly, he thought back to the showdown. "Damn! I lost the Pendant of Elements!"

"Oh. This?" She pulled a small chain with a brightly coloured stone hanging form it out of the glass container. "I took this too. So you did not lose the Showdown."

"How do you know all this?"

"Oh. Here. Let me show you."

Kira took Jacks hand and led him over to a screen. On it was the place he had just left. Raimundo was standing where the Pendant had been, looking confused. "What just happened?" he was saying.

The other dragons shrugged, except for Omi, who leapt over and began searching around. The Showdown arena became what it had been before, a park somewhere in the English countryside.

"So…why am I here?"

"You are here because I want you here. And you are under my control."

"Erm… ok." Jack looked confused.

The girl swept over to a table. She sat on it, cross legged, and looked into Jacks eyes. "So. Tell me who you love."

Jack tried to fight it, but somehow, his mouth said something different to what his mind was saying. "I love you," he said. _No I don't, _he thought._ I love Raimundo!_ (A/N You KNEW it was coming somewhere, right?)

The Kira wriggled with glee. "Now tell me who you really love."

This time it was true, but he wasn't going to say it to this - "Raimundo."

Damn.

The girl squeaked. "Oh, good!"

I know its an odd place to stop, but I want to post this soon and get at least 5 reviews before I write anymore.

And this one actually HAS a plot.

All: Yay! No more meaningless scribble!


End file.
